Terms of Service (Or: The Stuff We Hope You Never Actually Read)
From Author Wars - https://authorwars.com/
1. Introduction (a.k.a. The "Please Don't Sue Us" Section)
Welcome to AuthorWars.com, the premier (and possibly only) speculative fiction battle arena where authors clash in brutal, algorithmic combat for supremacy. By accessing this site, you agree to these terms—whether you've read them or not (spoiler: you haven't). If you disagree, well, that's unfortunate because you've already clicked something, and now you're in too deep.
2. Who Can Use This Site? (Hint: If You're a Sentient AI, Please Leave)
By using this site, you confirm that you are:
- ✔ At least 16 years old (or whatever arbitrary age your country picked).
- ✔ Not a robot, AI overlord, or some kind of eldritch horror attempting to assimilate our database.
- ✔ Capable of handling sarcasm, dry humor, and occasional existential dread.
If you fail any of these requirements, please exit immediately (or at least pretend you did).
3. User Conduct (a.k.a. "Don't Be a Jerk")
By interacting with AuthorWars.com, you agree not to:
- ❌ Steal our data (unless it's released under a Creative Commons license) and pretend you built a better website. (Spoiler: You didn't.)
- ❌ Spam, harass, or generally act like an internet gremlin.
- ❌ Attempt to "hack" our site unless your idea of hacking is guessing that our admin password is "God, Love, Sex, or Secret" (it's none of those, but good try, "1234" is more our style ;).
- ❌ Upload any content that violates copyright, common sense, or basic human decency.
Violating these rules may result in consequences ranging from mild annoyance on our end to permanent banishment from our kingdom (we mean, website).
4. Content Ownership (Or: "Yes, That Copyright Stuff")
All bibliographic data was sourced legally and is used under fair-use guidelines. Anything you submit (ratings, comments, conspiracy theories about book cover symbolism) remains yours, but by submitting it here, you grant us the eternal, royalty-free, non-exclusive right to display, use, and possibly make fun of it.
5. Liability Disclaimer (The "Not Our Fault" Clause)
Let's get real: if something goes wrong—whether the site crashes, data gets lost, or a rogue AI sentience arises from our database—we are not responsible. We don't guarantee that AuthorWars.com will be error-free, available 24/7, or even remotely useful or accurate. In fact, by using this site, you acknowledge that you're here mostly for entertainment and not for life-or-death literary decisions.
6. Termination (a.k.a. "Hasta la vista, baby")
We reserve the right to ban, delete, remove, or exile any user, comment, or literary hot take at any time for any reason. Maybe you violated our rules. Maybe you just really annoyed us. Who can say?
7. Updates to This Document (Or: "We Might Change the Rules Whenever We Feel Like It")
These Terms of Service can and will change whenever we decide it's necessary (or just feel like messing with you). You are responsible for checking this page occasionally, though we both know you won't.
8. Contact Us (But Only If You Must)
Need to complain, submit feedback, or question our very existence? Reach out at [email protected], but be warned—we respond in order of importance, and complaints about misplaced commas rank very low.
Final Words
If you've made it this far, congratulations! You have the patience of a saint or way too much free time. Either way, thanks for reading, and remember: this is AuthorWars.com—where the books are legendary, the rankings are occasionally dubious, and the sarcasm is always free.